Newsletter No 13: Nov 2012

Wedding Date Selection - 择日

Congratulations to all who are making preparations for their wedding day.

The wedding day is the one of the important phase of our life. Leaving singlehood and moving on with partnership to have your spouse who will share most things in your life. The selection of auspicious date kicks in when your proposal is accepted and approved by both families.

Usually, the parents or grandparents will check both the groom and bride's Four Pillar of Destiny and picking up the Tong Shu (Almanac) to assist in auspicious date selection. There are many different customs when it comes to marriage, even different dialect group have different practice. Normally there are auspicious dates for custom dowry (纳采), settings of bed (安床), combing of hair and prayers (上头), fetching the bride and ROM (嫁娶) and the traditional wedding dinner.

In my view, the ROM, the customs prayer events and tea serving are equally important. This is because ROM is the official endorsement and the other 2 events are the heaven and the parent's blessings and approval. Nowadays, it is very common for newly weds to select a date that is more economical and have a significant meaning to them. Nevertheless, many hope that the big event could bring good luck to both families and their future. Thus, auspicious date selection is an art that need knowledge not only in Four Pillars of Destiny but also the wedding custom in order to harness the good energy on the selected date.

I must highlight that there are many methods in selecting the date. We will be sharing based on the Four Pillar of Destiny and the usage of the Traditional Tong Shu (Almanac).

The following information is normally required:

1) Birth dates and time of the Bride and Groom.

2) Birth dates of the grand parents and parents.

3) Hsia Calendar or a trusted software that can generate your four pillars correctly.

4) Tong Shu (there are many types and include different languages).

5) Planned date of ROM and wedding dates (could range between 2 to 3 months).

Thereafter, please print out all the charts of the four pillars, especially your spouse and yourself. In addition, please also list out all the preferred dates for checking.

Here are some simple factors that you could consider:

1) Avoid clashes with the year pillars earthly branch with all signs that you have in your chart for the year pillar. These are normally called the Six Clashes. That is the Earthly Branch plus 6 signs will be the one. For example, Horse clashes with Rat, Cow clashes with Goat, Tiger clashes with Monkey, Rabbit clashes with Rooster, Dragon clashes with Dog and Snake clashes with Pig. Please refer to the chart below.


Six Clashes 


2) Avoid clashes on spouse pillars as well, if you could recall, your Day Master pillar is the one. The same rule applies for the clashes.

3) Avoid the days and month of the year of marriage that clashes with the year's earthly branch. For example 2013 the Water Snake clashes with the Pig's month that is from 7 Nov 13 till 7 Dec 13 and for the day with the sign of the Pig (only certain dates could be used). Not auspicious if both the Heavenly Stems and the Earthly Branches clashes directly like 癸 gui (Yin Water) 巳 si (Yin Fire) year and the己 ji (Yin Earth) 亥 hai (Yin Water) Day (like 3 April 2013).

4) According to the Tong Shu, please select the dates that state that it is auspicious for wedding. Note that the Tong Shu specifies other suitable events as well. The timing should also be factor in and this is available in the Tong Shu as well.

5) Priority should be given to the Day then the Year.

There are occasions that Feng Shui practitioners may choose a date that has a conflicting clash, which I have mentioned before, not all clashes are bad. Hence, should the clash falls on an unfavourable element, it could be used. Likewise if the date must be chosen, then the auspicious timing could render some help. There are also some symbolic stars dates that could be selected in accordance to your pillars as well. For example, Nobleman stars, Heaven and Monthly virtue. Please seek a Feng Shui Practitioner on this portion.

Below is the chart that shows the pillars of the Year and Spouse pillars branches in yellow:




I would avoid selecting a day sign with Monkey for the above chart, as the Day Master sits on the Tiger that has a good seasonal combination. That is Tiger, Rabbit and Dragon combine to form Wood.

Please note that all the clashes are of the same either Yin and Yin or Yang and Yang. Except for the Earth elements, all are conflicting in nature like Water against Fire and Wood against Metal. For the Earth, you can imagine both the Earth clashing against one another. The same sign of both Yin and both Yang produce great impact compare to a pair that consist of Yin and Yang as Positive and Negative attracts each other.

Your wedding day is a big event and a day to be remembered throughout your life. Be happy and enjoy it. Most importantly, you must be prepared for marriage life that is always to respect and care for each other and their family members. This is not easy but life is not easy and only those with good faith, luck, positive attitude and endurance will excel. There is a website that provides some good information and it is at: for wedding preparation.

The above discussion is based on the five elements and Tong Shu. More items will be considered when you approach the Feng Shui Practitioner.







By Hu Wei Hong